Before I start I want to clear up the meaning of the title. I am not talking the Ol Dirty Bastard type raw. I'm talking imperative information type raw. When I ask people for advice on deep and personal maters; I tend to say give it to me raw, uncut, with no chasers. So that's why I gave this blog the title "Oooh baby I like it raw."
The past couple of relationships I've been ended a hot mess. All because we had a few unnecessary episodes of drama that could have been avoided. Yes if only those men had been honest one of those relationships could still be going on...maybe. If only they could have kept it real and gave it to me raw I would still have respect for him and we might have been able to remain friends. Instead of the truth I got a stale reheated meal that I would have never ordered. It's not fair. It's just not fair that so many men are out here remixing their lives just for some action.
I just don't think men realize that in these days and times women are accepting men for who they are. We're also accepting the baggage that come along with them too. Look at Kandi! She was engaged to a man with four baby mamas and six kids. I bet she loved them all too. So why lie? At the end of the day, all it does is create a bunch of drama that you and any of the parties involved do not need. Some people acquire a lifetime of hurt after this.
For example, I met a guy a few years back while hanging out with some friends. He and I became close very quickly and we started dating. He had mentioned to me that he and his ex-girlfriend was at some point really good friends and that she helped him launch his modeling career. He never told me the friendship was present tense. Being the person I am her being his friend wouldn't have mattered but, something wasn't right. Clearly he and this girl was more then just friends. She called him all the time. If he didn't answer she'd call right back. The boy even gave the girl her own ring tone. Maybe he thought I wouldn't notice the difference in the ring tone...yeah right! When I would ask him about it he would down play it and act as if I was just being paranoid.
Ok so some stuff went down and forced it all on the table. Apparently I was right about my suspicions and the girl was more then a friend. She and I had words, he and I had words. It was a big mess. All of this could have been avoided if he told the truth. NOOOOO he had me walking around like I had jealous tendencies. All that time I had a reason to be alarmed. What he didn't tell me was he and baby girl had a history of on again off again relationships. I met him on the off again and somewhere in between he and I; they had become an on again. Do you think that I would have dealt with him given the situation? Hell no! I'm still pissed! I wish he would have given it to me raw.
Another example, I met a very nice guy while at a club with some friends in Atlanta. I was very intrigued by him and we hit it off well. It was a slow start and I could never figure out why he seemed to stand off a little at times. As weeks went by and the relationship started to lean towards us entertaining a dating situation I asked the important questions. Are you married, attached, have an estranged baby mama? This dude straight told me no. I asked again when we started making future plans etc. if there was anyone else out there who considers themselves in a romantic relationship with you., Again he says no. So here I go falling in love with this amazing guy who turns out to be married. I was beyond shocked. I couldn't believe a man would even go out like that. Even after being found out he lied and said he was separated and getting a divorce. I didn't stick around long enough to find out. I still wish he would have been honest in the first place instead of given me "The Remix". I wouldn't have wasted precious time or life on him.
At the end of the day I just don't get why you would deceive someone in that manner. Like I mentioned earlier there are some women that will deal with a man and all of his baggage. I'm just not one of them. So fellas the next time you meet a girl and you think about giving her some old reheated stale food, please don't. All you're doing is taking away her options and adding extra drama to yourself. I tell the person I'm involved with right now , "be honest with me. The know stuff I can deal with; it's the unknown that can kill me because I don't see it coming."
Who else have ever experienced this??? Male or female let me know. I'd like to take this topic to the next level.