Thursday, August 12, 2010
Last night on HowWasYourWeekend we had special guest Kel Spencer discussing the problem with women. At first I was afraid of what the men may say about us. I thought that they would sway some outlandishing things cuasing me to have to break on a few of them. I was all ready to hurt some poor man's feeling if he said anything I felt was unreal or extreme. To my surprise the things I heard was un true. If you haven't listen ladies click here now----->Listen<-----and tell me what you think. *DISCLAIMER* Warning Ricky gets a tad bit out of control but he means well. *END DISCLAIMER*
I made some notes jotting down a few of the things the men talked about and I wanted to touch on two things in particular. these two are what stuck out the most. The first one is "Women have too many high expectations when it comes to men" which all of the men on the line agreed on. In my mind that's not a bad thing but can it be that we really over shoot when it comes to our expectations of men and relationships. All my life my examples of men came from those who are around me. I can't say that I've ever modeled the man of my dreams after somebody that I don't know or had no chance in hell of meeting. So I'm wondering who are these women with such high expectations and are they themselves in the position to receive a man with these so called high expectations? Ladies help me out!
The second point they agreed on is that we women do not listen. This I also found odd because us women are so relational. We brag on the things our men do and so say that confuses me some. I'll agree in today's world a lot of us are head strong and will take the lead, I'll give you that. However I will shut my mouth and submit to the right man end of discussion. he can tell me to get to the moon and back if the level of respect is there and I deem him the head of my household. It's only right that I let him lead.
So I guess my question is what are we listening for??? I ask that because most men I know are afraid to shoot it to us strait anyways. Come on let's be real how many men do you know in relationships with women unhappy but wont leave because they are afraid of her reaction? I bet she'd like to know that fellas. I'm sure she'd be open to listen to you tell her why you're not happy and even more eager to help fix it.
Somewhere the lines communication went down and we need to get them back up. I hope you all plan on listening Wednesday night because I am positive us ladies are going to say some of these same things about men. Please be sure to tune in Wednesday at 9PM EST or listen to the podcast anytime at www.blogtalkradio.com/HowWazYourWeekend. We'll be dicussing "The Problem With men Is' with the lovely ladies of the blog site Boissuq. If you haven't already be sure to go online to www.HowWazYourWeekend.com to create your online profile on us.
Until Next Time I Bid you Peace and Prosperity!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Got me daydreaming thinking about rings and switching up my whole life style. ~Algebra Blessett~
That line is taken from the song "Do it for Me" by Algebra Blessett. Man I love that song! Each and every time I hear it I get all warm and fuzzy inside, because I understand how she must felt when she wrote it. My first time hearing this song I fell in love with love and it's possibilities all over again. Ok let's keep it moving.
A little while back I wrote a blog "Twisted Elegance" that spoke about people lying when the truth would do just fine. When I wrote that blog I did mention the there was a reverse to Twisted Elegance which is when things are better then they appear. I not to long ago had the chance to experience that and I wanted to share it with you. So set back, relax, I think you're going to enjoy this.
So a few months back I got the chance to hang out with someone that I've been in contact with for years but I hadn't gotten the chance to see often. The funny thing about this guy is a few years back he was my myspace crush. When we would talk I would always brush him off thinking man he's just a player or super friendly with the ladies. I could never take him seriously. Anyways so we're hanging out and it's crazy because besides just being a social networking crush I never thought he and I would even cross paths in that way. Here we are sitting on the sofa in the basement of my house watching "The Hills" and swapping life stories. You have to understand after years of social networking convos, emails, text messages, and BBMs this person is now sitting in my face...WHOA!
Temperatures quickly arose and it wasn't hard to tell that we indeed had an attraction towards each other. I was even a little fidgety and giddy like a little school girl. I tell ya, boyfriend had me going! It was crazy because what I thought would be just us chopping it up for a minute, turned into hours on great convo. It was very refreshing for me because it had been a while since I felt a man in that way. You can't blame thou. After all of the drama I've experienced with Melo I clearly shut down in order to heal at this point.
After that night we began to talk more and started forming this relationship that is indescribable. He is my friend whom I love and enjoy talking to. No matter if it's via phone, skype, or BBM I LOVE IT! He knows how to make me smile. This is so awkward because I totally DID NOT see this coming at all. Mind you it's been years of conversations with this man and we've had a few sparks; never did I think he'd be someone that I would consider pursuing more then just a crush with.
For one this person has blown my mind not because we vibed, but because of who he is. I don't want to give away who I'm speaking of just yet so I'll keep it bland. This man is strong, hard working, dedicated, caring, articulate, creative, loyal, giving, intelligent, God fearing and just simply beautiful. I truly think he is PHENOMINAL inside and out and I am going to take my time and enjoy getting to know him. I admire all of the things that he is and can't wait to see all of the things he will become. Typically he's not the type of guy I'd usually come in contact with, however he's the type of guy I dream about. Moral of the story is you just never know.
Until next time Peace and Prosperity!
I've added Algebra's video just for you! Go ahead and click play.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tonight on How Waz Your Weekend we spoke with the original baller Earl Lloyd who was the very first African American NBA player along with Bobbye Hill an overseas baller who does a lot for youth in the city of Dallas, TX. If you missed the show you missed a real treat. Lucky for you, you can listen to the podcast now by clicking here----> www.blogtalkradio.com/HowWazYourWeekend <---- I really enjoyed tonight's guest because it was refreshing to hear their insights. For example Mr. Lloyd talked about the reason ballers have been linked to dating white women. You see back in the day when he was in the league seeing a black face at a game was unheard of. In fact a direct quote was that "the only time we saw an African American women at a game is if we brought one." He went on to say that it was only himself and another black player in the entire league so that really wasn't often at all. Mr. Lloyd also said that men in his position married white women because to them it looked as if they married up. You guys see where I am going right? This whole black men dating white women digs way deeper then I thought. Here I am thinking it's something society had drummed up when actually it was the lifestyle of successful black men. My question is how in the world do we change something that has been going on for 60 years? What can we as women do to knock down a curse that was placed upon us generations ago? Do we start dating other races as well? How do we break this curse??? Another great topic Mr. Lloyd touched on is money. He said, "I played each game as if it was my last one." Now isn't that some serious dedication? That sentence alone proves that he was grateful for what he had. It's sad to say that a lot of us today are not. How many of us work at our jobs, with our spouses, with our children, and our serve in our church, or in our lives??? We can learn a lot from Mr. Lloyd so I encourage you all to check out his book "Moonfixer" I'll be reading it right along with you.
If you hadn't heard the show I really don't want to give it all away however you really should hear what Mr. Lloyd had to see about groupies. I would tell you but it's better to listen for yourself. Be sure to join us again next week on How Waz Your Weekend with our special guest Kel Spencer, the Warrior Poet. We'll be talking about "The Problem with Women is." Now ladies please refrain for calling in this show is strictly for the fellas. You'll get you chance the following week August 18th when the topic well be "The Problem with Men is." I sure can't wait to delve into that.
Until next time I bid you Peace and Prosperity!
Monday, August 2, 2010
So I stumbled upon a blog that was written by a women who is currently married with two children to a man that cheats on her. The dead giveaway for me was for one her blog was about morals and cheating. Secondly she repeatedly attacked "the other woman." She went on about how these woman have low self esteem and that they should strive to be more the just #2 or 3 etc. Immediate I grew fumes because it was obvious this woman was in denial. Not once did I read where she held her HUSBAND the man who cheated on her accountable.
Being that I was "the other woman" at one point in time I took this to heart. Why??? Well first off low self esteem has never been an issue for me. I've always been proud of who God made me and I am very confident in who I am. I also desire to have a husband of my own and had no intentions on being in a relationship with someone else's husband. Heck no!!! I don't want that for me and I know God surely has something way better for me than that. I was lied to and I had become the other women unwillingly.
So for those of you who has wondered what that's like let me it explain it to you...IT'S CRAZY! Can you imagine meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife? Well that's what it feels like. It's a horrible feeling that I would not wish on my worse enemy. Now let me rewind this just a little bit. I wanna take you all back to before I knew he was married. When it was all good.
If you read my previous blog "Deceptacon Blues" then you know pretty much how we met. I was hanging out at the Velvet Room in Atlanta, yes I am telling a little more, when this guy that I found very attractive approached me. Just like I said it was like a fairytale over night. I can't lie it started off a little slow the first week or two after we met but once it was on, it was on.
You know the things you do when you're in love; the talking on the phone until the sun came up. Spending countless hours of the day thinking about them. The excitement you feel when you're around them, we had all of that. I grew to love him in such a short period of time because he was so attentive. He listened to my every word and remember things that I'd told him even when I didn't. He was very good to me and my child. We wanted for nothing.
When he and I was together all I saw was fireworks. I had never been happier in a relationship. We did everything together and I mean everything. He was my best friend and I knew I was his. There wasn't a thing going in in his life I didn't know about, so I thought. I had even been around this man's children a few times. We was in love, so I thought.
The hardest thing in the world for me was letting go of what I thought I'd have forever. I was sold a dream, a fairytale, and I wanted it. So for this women to say that I was comfortable at being #2 is absorbed. I didn't know I was #2 he continuously told me I was #1 and I believe that. Oh and it wasn't just because of his words it was because of his actions. The insane part was finding out that this wasn't something new. He had done this before. This man is a beautiful liar, with an even more beautiful mind.
At the end of the day I was able to walk away without any drama. I didn't say I do. I didn't have any kids with him. We hadn't purchased a home together or anything. I was free. I wish I could say the same for his wife. So while this married women was condemning me, because again I took it personal, she might wanna check up on her level of self esteem. I say that because staying in a relationship with somebody knowing that they cheated on you is a serious problem to me. It's a problem that she alone can not fix. It's one that only God can handle.
I just hope that she and any other women who is in this position wake up and accept some responsibility for what is happening to them. They are married to cheaters and the other woman is the least of their problem. The writer also suggested communication as being the main source of healing and I'm sorry she is mistaken. Only God and serious dedication from both parties can fix that mess. That or her going straight ham on that man...lol Just jokes! Seriously what do you guys think about this? Can a marriage be repaired after years of infidelity???
Until next time, Peace and Prosperity...
Nika The PR Diva