I have a blog in my heart...

I know I haven't blogged in a while but trust that the blog that I have in my heart right now will be mind blowing. Stay tuned!!!!

Until then Peace and Prosperity,
Nika

New Single by Kel Spencer ~ Aspirations

KEL SPENCER.ASPIRATIONS.APTZR.CLEAN by WattsIntheKnow

So I checked my email yesterday to find Kel Spencer's new single Aspirations produced by Niyi. I can't even lie, I love this song and I'm sure all of my Tribe fans know why. Congratulations Kel you have another hit on your hands! Aspirations is a single inspired by A Tribe Called Quest Electric Relaxation and from his 4th mixtape "The Appetizer” due in early September. For more information about Kel Spencer check out his website at http://www.kelspencer.com/. Quick replay...Last summer Kel released a single called "Eye On You" that is FIIIIIIIIRE. I've posted the video link just incase you missed it.

Until Next Time I bid you Peace and Blessings!!!

~Nika~

Watts In The Know

I'm back on the airwaves ladies and gentlemen!!!!!

I posted my very FIRST episode to my podcast, Watts In The Know. Watts In The Know is a segment featured on Fire Fridays on Da Flava Radio. Please click the link below to check me out.

Watts In The Know

See you there!

Until Next time I bid you Peace and Blessings,

~Nika~

Boys, Bubbles, and Butterflies...

I don't know what happen in the past few months but there has been another change of events. I have all of a sudden turned girly. All I can think about is boys (MEN), bubbles (FUN), and butterflies (the feeling boys and butterflies give you). Ladies and gentlemen...I'm boy crazy and LOVING IT! For two years almost I've locked myself in a closet refusing to get out and have fun. Partly because I was still healing form my big break up with Melo, see blog Dceptacon Blues. I was so depressed!!! I spent a lot of my time moping around like a soggy mop. I guess time really does heal all wound because after months of payer and regeneration I finally got the strength to move forward. Not that I hadn't gotten over Melo, I just felt like I had lost me in the process.

Forgetting him had made me forget what my life was before I met him. Event hough I know I was very good before I met him. So instead of reconnecting myself I re-invent myself. And now I'm out in these streets, cutting a few rugs, and wanting a kiss from every cute guy I meet. Ok maybe the kissing thing was a little too far but you get it, I'm having fun. After all of the emotional rollarcoaster rides I put myself on; this by far is the most fun of all. This feeling I have right now is like I'm at the top of the hill. Even though I know what's coming my way (butterflies all the way down) I can't help but cover my eyes so I can feel every bump. Meanwhile the flowers are blooming again, I heard the birds chirping, and the cherry blossoms are beautiful this year.

I had no idea it would be so much fun re-establishing my likes, dislikes and enjoying the company of some very cool guys in the process. I've even met some cool chicks too. All of which I've grown fond of the past couple of months. Am I looking for love??? No, I'm just doing with guys do, I'm making it work with whomever is around. I'm having late night conversations on the phone. I'm having dinner in places I normally wouldn't eat in. I'm taking long walks in the city, parks, and boardwalks. You know living life. The best part about nit is everytime I give out my number I'm not picturing him at the end of the isle. What I am doing is thinking about how many times he made me laugh or smile. We all know that being in love is intoxicating. So just because I'm not in love doesn't mean I can't enjoy the possibility that I might fall.

Until next time I bid you Peace and Blessings!
~Nika~

Yes, I'm 35 and Single!

So here we go kicking off the New Year trying to get right. In doing so I thought I should go ahead and get this blog out that I have been avoiding for a while. I really didn't want to explain myself because I don't feel like anything is wrong with my relationship status. I'm just tired of being asked "why are you single" over and over by so many people. So here it goes.

Reason #1 Because I want to be. I've never been one of those girls who dreamed of being married and had their wedding dress picked out by the time they was 12. I've always been the opposite. I never wanted kids, although I love them, and I never really thought about marrying anyone for real. Well I'll just say I hadn't until I was well in my 30s. See previous blog Chicks like me don't get Married.
Reason #2 I'm VERY career driven and my biggest goal in life has always been to reach my career max. While some women thought about big houses with white picket fences; I was dreaming of penthouse condos, private jets, and chauffeurs. Honesty I still am. LOL I've always thought of myself as being that woman who was always on the go, flying all over the world closing business deal after business deal. I couldn't dare imagine trying to cater to a husband and do all of those things. Being a single Mother is complicated but I make all the rules. When I roll my kid rolls with me. In a marriage that wouldn't be acceptable.

Reason #3  I'm afraid of commitment! Anything that requires me to commit to for a long period of time scares me. I don't care what it is. Buying a house, a car, or anything... I'm sure you are thinking "she's unstable" but that's not it. I just like to be free. I hate feeling as if I can't do certain things because of certain restraints. If I get a great opportunity that requires me to pick up and go to London for a few years I want to be able to go. I don't want to have anything holding me back. I know that sounds selfish but, I'm being honest. Being in a committed relationship means I have to make some adjustments that I'm not sure I'm ready to make right now.

Reason #4 I have a child.  Those of you who are single parents can relate to this so well. My job is to protect my child therefore everybody isn't fit to be around her. Do you know how many children have been harmed by their father figures??? Call me extra for that one but it's real. Things like this happen. I also have to think if this person will be a good father to my child and will he love her as his own. You see she and I are a package deal. So any man I chose now has the responsibility of taking care of both of us and that's a HUGE responsibility. Think about how it would feel to have to take care of someone else's child everyday. That's a lot! I think it takes a special man to do this.

Reason # 5 I haven't met my husband yet. I have a lot of great guy friends. I've even dated a few great guys. However, none of these relationships has made me want to take that step towards jumping the broom. Have I thought about it?  Absolutely but as soon as I get too deep something happens that pulls me out of it. I'm sure some day some guy will come into my life that I don't want to live a day without. When he does I guess that will be the day I decide to say I do. Until then I'm happily single. Enjoying this chapter of my life and staying focused on my goals of and vision.

So there you have it the top 5 reasons why I'm single. I'm thinking the next time I'm asked "why are you single?' I will direct them to this blog. HA!

Until next time I bid you Peace and Prosperity!


~Nika~

I'm so Special...

So my theme for this last quarter of 2010 is "I'm so special" and I'm loving it. Since I've completed this mean girl cleanse I have been able to see things a lot clearer. Freeing myself from all of that negativity has made me a lot happier. Not that I wasn't happy before but, it's a difference now. For example I can see something that is extremely ridiculous and I'll just leave it alone. I used to say we as people have to pick and chose or own battles. Will now I pick and chose not to entertain foolishness. I'm not saying that I wont make a joke every now and again when I hear or see some juicy celebrity gossip I haven't gone that far just yet...LOL

The past month my emotional senses has continued to be activated as I've embarked upon quite a few changes in my life. Since I’ve started this blog I’ve noticed an increase in communication with women who had been in relationships similar to mine with Melo (see blog Deceptacon Blues for reference). “Oh how I know the feeling,” I recall saying each and every time I hear them say how they believed in and or trusted their married boyfriends. This is always the part where I go into advice mode advising my friend the steps she should take in moving forward from something that seems impossible. So I decided to blog about it. That’s right give my advice on what I did to move forward from that unhealthy relationship. Now brace yourself because I’m not even going to sugar coat it today. *insert smile here, LOL*

First thing first is to determine in fact that the relationship is worth the time and energy you have to put into it to maintain it. If not you need to, start cutting your loses now. There is nothing worse than you letting time go by in a non-productive relationship causing you to be stagnated. Think about it…You spend your entire relationship trying to get that person on the same level you’re on. That doesn’t sound like too much fun to me. Personally I prefer someone in my life that would enhance the person I already am. Someone who helps to make my life easier and wants me to become the best person I can be. Seriously how am I to do that if I’m too busy focused on him getting like me? I can’t even imagine.

Truthfully if he puts god first and his goals and visions are in line with or similar to mine then I’m all for it otherwise I already know it’s a challenge. So what I’m saying here is that we as women need to set a standard and stay focused on it. One of the biggest reasons we fell so hard for the married man in the first place was because we lowered our standard. After getting the “me and my wife are separated story” we should have left those men where they stood; telling them to call us when they have a divorce decree in hand. Think about it, if a man truly loves you, he should want to protect you and provide you with the best. Do you really think you’re getting his best when legally and spiritually he has NO BUSINESS being with you?

Once you’ve gotten a hold on reality the next step is to begin focusing on you. Every woman I’ve spoken to in an unhappy relationship has asked the same question which always amazes me. They ask“Hmmm I wonder what he’s thinking” as if he’s thoughts even matter. My response is always “who cares what he thinks, it’s not about him,” and I mean it every time too. Ladies at this point it’s no longer about him. Making it about him got you here in the first place. At this point he doesn’t deserve a second of your time to being wasted on wondering about him. He’s the one who violated you and your trust in the first place. He knew you were into him and instead of doing the right thing he chose to be selfish and use you. That’s NO GOOD. Seriously if he thought so highly of you you would not be the other woman, side chick, or just some random chick his screwing. Oh yes, I said it just like that because that’s what it is! Sounds to me like it’s time for you to make a few adjustments.

Ok ok so I went off in a rant but it’s within good reason. I can relate and it angers me to hear about a woman encountering what I did. Anyways now it’s time to take a look in the mirror and tell yourself “I’m so special” and believe it. If you don’t believe it the first time, keep saying it over and over until you do. I know this sounds redundant but you’re fearful and wonderfully made in God’s design to be great. You deserve to be so much more then to be mistreated or in any unhealthy relationship. If this is not convincing enough write a list of all of your wonderful qualities. You know the great things that make you who you are.

Once you’ve written this list start focusing on your vision. If you haven’t figured that out yet I’d suggest reading Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. After doing all of that re-read those last couple of paragraphs. I bet then you’ll realize you are worth so much more then that relationship. Now I can go on and on about how to move on and getting what you deserve, but only one thing is for certain. You’ve got to do what’s best for you. Hurt from leaving an unhealthy relationship is far less than staying in one. Remember that! So what are you waiting for??? Get to blocking numbers, emails, and all of your social networking accounts. It's time for you to move on and be free from that bondage. Here's a link to a youtube video of a song called "Free" by Destiny's Child. It's very inspirational for moment like these. Enjoy!

Until next time I bid you Peace and Prosperity!

~Nika~

Designer Baggage

The smoke has finally cleared of from all the excitement I recieved from back to back weddings and engagements. Now that I've had the time to slow down and think I've realized I'm getting older and I might want to think about seriously settling down and causing some emotional uproar myself. I mean after all my child does deserve to be raised in a wonderful two parent home right? Well I don't see that happening anytime soon becuase I'm carrying designer baggage. That's right not just any baggage but say it with me designer baggage.

Now that you've noticed the emphasis on designer like me explain what I mean but that. We all have baggage. Some of us carry old suit cases and duffel bags from relationship to relationship filling them up with secrets, hurts, and dirty laundry until one day they meet some one they don't mind sharing that with. Then and only then do they empty their bags and store them away until they may have to use them again. Come on, don't front! You know you've had a couple of bags you've carried around before (giving you the side eye).

As for me mine is a little different; I call it designer baggage because it looks good. I'm the girl that people see and think "hey she really has it going on" but deep down inside I'm hurting. I walk around with me head high, smiling, and moving as if everything is ok while masking my inner hurts. Do I carry my designer bags from relationship to relationship? Yes I sure do but in a different way. Since the baggage looks so pretty people aren't expecting the ugly, generic, and extremely used clothing to come out of those bags. Knowing that I keep everything inside never taking anything out and meanwhile adding to the collection.

I'm sure this sounds familiar to somebody. You've collected so much baggage over the years that you've had to go rent a storage unit it just to house it. Is that you??? If so I challenge you to look in the mirror right now and say "I am cleaning out my storage" and DO IT. I would start by doing some sort of spiritual cleanse and or detox. Getting rid of your past hurts, or maybe even the current hurts that are haunting you, would allow your heart to be open to so much more. Ask me how do I know so that I can tell you I am doing it right now.

You remember the mean girl cleanse I wrote about a few months back? That was me cleaning out my storage unit and now that it's clean I'm a lot happier with myself and you could be too. God has so much to offer you if you could just let go and let him work. I can go on about all the things that I have been blessed with since I let go of a few things but I'm not because it's not about me. Today it's about you cleansing yourself so that you can be open to receive whatever blessing God has ahead of you. Think about it!

If you've read this blog and feel inspired to do a detox or spiritual cleanse please comment below or email me and I'd be happy to send you some literature.

Until next time I bid you Peace and Prosperity!
~Nika~