Monday, August 2, 2010
I thought it was but it wasn't LOVE
So I stumbled upon a blog that was written by a women who is currently married with two children to a man that cheats on her. The dead giveaway for me was for one her blog was about morals and cheating. Secondly she repeatedly attacked "the other woman." She went on about how these woman have low self esteem and that they should strive to be more the just #2 or 3 etc. Immediate I grew fumes because it was obvious this woman was in denial. Not once did I read where she held her HUSBAND the man who cheated on her accountable.
Being that I was "the other woman" at one point in time I took this to heart. Why??? Well first off low self esteem has never been an issue for me. I've always been proud of who God made me and I am very confident in who I am. I also desire to have a husband of my own and had no intentions on being in a relationship with someone else's husband. Heck no!!! I don't want that for me and I know God surely has something way better for me than that. I was lied to and I had become the other women unwillingly.
So for those of you who has wondered what that's like let me it explain it to you...IT'S CRAZY! Can you imagine meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife? Well that's what it feels like. It's a horrible feeling that I would not wish on my worse enemy. Now let me rewind this just a little bit. I wanna take you all back to before I knew he was married. When it was all good.
If you read my previous blog "Deceptacon Blues" then you know pretty much how we met. I was hanging out at the Velvet Room in Atlanta, yes I am telling a little more, when this guy that I found very attractive approached me. Just like I said it was like a fairytale over night. I can't lie it started off a little slow the first week or two after we met but once it was on, it was on.
You know the things you do when you're in love; the talking on the phone until the sun came up. Spending countless hours of the day thinking about them. The excitement you feel when you're around them, we had all of that. I grew to love him in such a short period of time because he was so attentive. He listened to my every word and remember things that I'd told him even when I didn't. He was very good to me and my child. We wanted for nothing.
When he and I was together all I saw was fireworks. I had never been happier in a relationship. We did everything together and I mean everything. He was my best friend and I knew I was his. There wasn't a thing going in in his life I didn't know about, so I thought. I had even been around this man's children a few times. We was in love, so I thought.
The hardest thing in the world for me was letting go of what I thought I'd have forever. I was sold a dream, a fairytale, and I wanted it. So for this women to say that I was comfortable at being #2 is absorbed. I didn't know I was #2 he continuously told me I was #1 and I believe that. Oh and it wasn't just because of his words it was because of his actions. The insane part was finding out that this wasn't something new. He had done this before. This man is a beautiful liar, with an even more beautiful mind.
At the end of the day I was able to walk away without any drama. I didn't say I do. I didn't have any kids with him. We hadn't purchased a home together or anything. I was free. I wish I could say the same for his wife. So while this married women was condemning me, because again I took it personal, she might wanna check up on her level of self esteem. I say that because staying in a relationship with somebody knowing that they cheated on you is a serious problem to me. It's a problem that she alone can not fix. It's one that only God can handle.
I just hope that she and any other women who is in this position wake up and accept some responsibility for what is happening to them. They are married to cheaters and the other woman is the least of their problem. The writer also suggested communication as being the main source of healing and I'm sorry she is mistaken. Only God and serious dedication from both parties can fix that mess. That or her going straight ham on that man...lol Just jokes! Seriously what do you guys think about this? Can a marriage be repaired after years of infidelity???
Until next time, Peace and Prosperity...
Nika The PR Diva