Twisted Elegance The Remix

Got me daydreaming thinking about rings and switching up my whole life style. ~Algebra Blessett~

That line is taken from the song "Do it for Me" by Algebra Blessett. Man I love that song! Each and every time I hear it I get all warm and fuzzy inside, because I understand how she must felt when she wrote it. My first time hearing this song I fell in love with love and it's possibilities all over again. Ok let's keep it moving.

A little while back I wrote a blog "Twisted Elegance" that spoke about people lying when the truth would do just fine. When I wrote that blog I did mention the there was a reverse to Twisted Elegance which is when things are better then they appear. I not to long ago had the chance to experience that and I wanted to share it with you. So set back, relax, I think you're going to enjoy this.

So a few months back I got the chance to hang out with someone that I've been in contact with for years but I hadn't gotten the chance to see often. The funny thing about this guy is a few years back he was my myspace crush. When we would talk I would always brush him off thinking man he's just a player or super friendly with the ladies. I could never take him seriously. Anyways so we're hanging out and it's crazy because besides just being a social networking crush I never thought he and I would even cross paths in that way. Here we are sitting on the sofa in the basement of my house watching "The Hills" and swapping life stories. You have to understand after years of social networking convos, emails, text messages, and BBMs this person is now sitting in my face...WHOA!

Temperatures quickly arose and it wasn't hard to tell that we indeed had an attraction towards each other. I was even a little fidgety and giddy like a little school girl. I tell ya, boyfriend had me going! It was crazy because what I thought would be just us chopping it up for a minute, turned into hours on great convo. It was very refreshing for me because it had been a while since I felt a man in that way. You can't blame thou. After all of the drama I've experienced with Melo I clearly shut down in order to heal at this point.

After that night we began to talk more and started forming this relationship that is indescribable. He is my friend whom I love and enjoy talking to. No matter if it's via phone, skype, or BBM I LOVE IT! He knows how to make me smile. This is so awkward because I totally DID NOT see this coming at all. Mind you it's been years of conversations with this man and we've had a few sparks; never did I think he'd be someone that I would consider pursuing more then just a crush with.

For one this person has blown my mind not because we vibed, but because of who he is. I don't want to give away who I'm speaking of just yet so I'll keep it bland. This man is strong, hard working, dedicated, caring, articulate, creative, loyal, giving, intelligent, God fearing and just simply beautiful. I truly think he is PHENOMINAL inside and out and I am going to take my time and enjoy getting to know him. I admire all of the things that he is and can't wait to see all of the things he will become. Typically he's not the type of guy I'd usually come in contact with, however he's the type of guy I dream about. Moral of the story is you just never know.


Until next time Peace and Prosperity!

I've added Algebra's video just for you! Go ahead and click play.

• Do It for Me by Algebra Blessett

More Algebra Blessett music on iLike

So you wanna be a baller?

Tonight on How Waz Your Weekend we spoke with the original baller Earl Lloyd who was the very first African American NBA player along with Bobbye Hill an overseas baller who does a lot for youth in the city of Dallas, TX. If you missed the show you missed a real treat. Lucky for you, you can listen to the podcast now by clicking here----> www.blogtalkradio.com/HowWazYourWeekend <---- I really enjoyed tonight's guest because it was refreshing to hear their insights. For example Mr. Lloyd talked about the reason ballers have been linked to dating white women. You see back in the day when he was in the league seeing a black face at a game was unheard of. In fact a direct quote was that "the only time we saw an African American women at a game is if we brought one." He went on to say that it was only himself and another black player in the entire league so that really wasn't often at all. Mr. Lloyd also said that men in his position married white women because to them it looked as if they married up. You guys see where I am going right? This whole black men dating white women digs way deeper then I thought. Here I am thinking it's something society had drummed up when actually it was the lifestyle of successful black men. My question is how in the world do we change something that has been going on for 60 years? What can we as women do to knock down a curse that was placed upon us generations ago? Do we start dating other races as well? How do we break this curse??? Another great topic Mr. Lloyd touched on is money. He said, "I played each game as if it was my last one." Now isn't that some serious dedication? That sentence alone proves that he was grateful for what he had. It's sad to say that a lot of us today are not. How many of us work at our jobs, with our spouses, with our children, and our serve in our church, or in our lives??? We can learn a lot from Mr. Lloyd so I encourage you all to check out his book "Moonfixer" I'll be reading it right along with you.

If you hadn't heard the show I really don't want to give it all away however you really should hear what Mr. Lloyd had to see about groupies. I would tell you but it's better to listen for yourself. Be sure to join us again next week on How Waz Your Weekend with our special guest Kel Spencer, the Warrior Poet. We'll be talking about "The Problem with Women is." Now ladies please refrain for calling in this show is strictly for the fellas. You'll get you chance the following week August 18th when the topic well be "The Problem with Men is." I sure can't wait to delve into that.

Until next time I bid you Peace and Prosperity!

~Nika~

I thought it was but it wasn't LOVE

So I stumbled upon a blog that was written by a women who is currently married with two children to a man that cheats on her. The dead giveaway for me was for one her blog was about morals and cheating. Secondly she repeatedly attacked "the other woman." She went on about how these woman have low self esteem and that they should strive to be more the just #2 or 3 etc. Immediate I grew fumes because it was obvious this woman was in denial. Not once did I read where she held her HUSBAND the man who cheated on her accountable.

Being that I was "the other woman" at one point in time I took this to heart. Why??? Well first off low self esteem has never been an issue for me. I've always been proud of who God made me and I am very confident in who I am. I also desire to have a husband of my own and had no intentions on being in a relationship with someone else's husband. Heck no!!! I don't want that for me and I know God surely has something way better for me than that. I was lied to and I had become the other women unwillingly.

So for those of you who has wondered what that's like let me it explain it to you...IT'S CRAZY! Can you imagine meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife? Well that's what it feels like. It's a horrible feeling that I would not wish on my worse enemy. Now let me rewind this just a little bit. I wanna take you all back to before I knew he was married. When it was all good.

If you read my previous blog "Deceptacon Blues" then you know pretty much how we met. I was hanging out at the Velvet Room in Atlanta, yes I am telling a little more, when this guy that I found very attractive approached me. Just like I said it was like a fairytale over night. I can't lie it started off a little slow the first week or two after we met but once it was on, it was on.

You know the things you do when you're in love; the talking on the phone until the sun came up. Spending countless hours of the day thinking about them. The excitement you feel when you're around them, we had all of that. I grew to love him in such a short period of time because he was so attentive. He listened to my every word and remember things that I'd told him even when I didn't. He was very good to me and my child. We wanted for nothing.

When he and I was together all I saw was fireworks. I had never been happier in a relationship. We did everything together and I mean everything. He was my best friend and I knew I was his. There wasn't a thing going in in his life I didn't know about, so I thought. I had even been around this man's children a few times. We was in love, so I thought.

The hardest thing in the world for me was letting go of what I thought I'd have forever. I was sold a dream, a fairytale, and I wanted it. So for this women to say that I was comfortable at being #2 is absorbed. I didn't know I was #2 he continuously told me I was #1 and I believe that. Oh and it wasn't just because of his words it was because of his actions. The insane part was finding out that this wasn't something new. He had done this before. This man is a beautiful liar, with an even more beautiful mind.

At the end of the day I was able to walk away without any drama. I didn't say I do. I didn't have any kids with him. We hadn't purchased a home together or anything. I was free. I wish I could say the same for his wife. So while this married women was condemning me, because again I took it personal, she might wanna check up on her level of self esteem. I say that because staying in a relationship with somebody knowing that they cheated on you is a serious problem to me. It's a problem that she alone can not fix. It's one that only God can handle.

I just hope that she and any other women who is in this position wake up and accept some responsibility for what is happening to them. They are married to cheaters and the other woman is the least of their problem. The writer also suggested communication as being the main source of healing and I'm sorry she is mistaken. Only God and serious dedication from both parties can fix that mess. That or her going straight ham on that man...lol Just jokes! Seriously what do you guys think about this? Can a marriage be repaired after years of infidelity???

Until next time, Peace and Prosperity...

Nika The PR Diva

DIVORCE: I Said I Do, But I Didn't Mean It

Tonight's topic for How Waz Your Weekend, which airs each and every Wednesday at 9PM eastern, was really amazing. Be sure to join us next week on How Waz Your Weekend we'll be speaking with the very FIRST Black NBA player Earl Lyod. Log on or call in at (646) 727-3279 to listen and learn.

Now back to our scheduled program. DIVORCE: I Said I Do, But I Didn't Mean It. We had a special guest Dr. Stan "Breakthrough" Harris who discussed how to survive in your marriage. For more information on "Dr. Breakthrough" check out his website www.drbreakthrough.com. According to his bio Dr. Breakthrough is perhaps the most entertaining, enlightening, and electrifying speaker on the circuit today. He has Co-authored 4 best selling books with people like Donald Trump, Les Brown, Suze Orman, T. Harv Eker, Zig Ziglar, Dan Kennedy etc. His 5th book entitled, “Your Break Through Is Guaranteed" is also available on his website. If you mention you heard about him or his book on How Waz Your Weekend you can purchase the book and receive a CD and DVD for FREE.

Ok moving on...If you listened to the show you know the Dr. Breakthrough encouraged listeners to stick in their marriages by "living on the Brightside" so to speak. He said to focus on what you want and not what you don't. With that being said I wanted to help those out who want healthy and lasting marriages, I reposted content from a blog a wrote a while back. A blog entitled, "Crucial Questions you MUST ask before you get Married." If yiu haven't read it already please do. It really may help you to prevent the big D wird which in my case will NEVER be an option.



LET'S GO!

Crucial Questions you MUST ask before you get Married. Think about that for a second. Before you continue on I want you to ask yourself are you really ready to read this. You might be shocked by what I'm about to write so brace yourself.

As a lot of you may know the Devil is at work in marriages today. So many people have rushed into marriage for so many reasons, but the right one. The right one would be to serve God together. That's what marriage is created for. So many of us single people are so desperate to be married that we jump into it missing it's purpose. Because we're not asking the questions a lot of marriages are ending in divorce, or there is infidelity, and even worst people are living unhappy and unfulfilled lives. Hopefully this list can save some of us for falling into the same trending pattern.



The Questions:



Questions you should ask yourself about your mate.



1. How do I avoid emotional traps?



Answer: By setting standards for yourself. When you get involved with someone who fall short to your standards you find yourself compromising the entire relationship. Eventually that gets old and you'll find that you stayed in a relationship that you didn't want to be in because you're emotionally attached. When you invest so much time and you compromised you will become emotionally attached. So let's start asking these questions upfront and sticking to our standards.



2. How has this person added to or taken away from my life?

If the answer is more negatives then positive RUN. If you’re in between slow down and feel it out. If this person seems perfect proceed with caution. Guard your heart at all stages. Until the Holy Spirit tells you he/she is the one and you know beyond the shadow of a doubt be careful and protect yourself. Your heart is the very core of you. A broken heart could cause you to shut down completely so you really want to be careful with this.



3. LADIES: Can this man lead my spiritually and am I willing to follow him?

FELLAS: Can I lead this woman spiritually?

Spiritual leadership is very important. You MUST be equally yoked there is no way around that.


4. LADIES: Is he truly in a position to take care of a family?

FELLAS: Will I be able to provide for her and our children, if any?

Taking care of a family can be pretty steep economically. You want to make sure that this is covered on the front end. If for any reason you feel that this will be an issue hold off on getting married. Financial problems can cause a ton of emotional stress.

Questions to ask your partner before getting married. (These are in no particular order)


1. What is your mental history? Does any type of illness run in your family?

You want to address this upfront. You do not want to have anything come up later that you weren’t aware about. This could be harmful to you and your spouse.

2. May I see your credit report?

Once you say I do you inherit his/her debt.



3. May I see your bank statement?

This will show you how he/she spends money. Their spending habits may not be the greatest and this should give you some idea of that.



4. Make sure you do a criminal background check.

You do not want anything in their past coming back to haunt you.



5. Do you or have you had any addictions?

It can be alcohol, some sort of drugs or even a sexual addiction. Either way find that out.



6. What are your expectations of me as a husband/wife?

You must make sure what they expect aligns with what you expect. It saves a lot of drama on the back end to know upfront.



7. What is the worst thing you've done while angry?

You don't want to be surprised when he or she starts punching walls of busting windows. RUN!


8. Have you ever been violent in a relationship?

Self explanatory, physical abuse of any kind is not a good look.



9. How much information would you like us to share with our friends and or family?

You have to be careful with this. If you share the wrong thing your people can still be angry with him/her while you two have kissed and made up.



10. How many kids would you like to have?

They may want 5 and you want none.



11. How do you review relationships with the opposite sex?

This can be sensitive territory. Ladies he may not be comfortable with you having too many male friends. Check this out!



12. What is your purpose in life?

If he/she has none or it sounds shaky that's a relationship you do not want to be in.



13. How would you like to discipline our children?

They may be a spanker while you're not. Discuss this.



14. What is your relationship with your parents?

This explains a whole lot. Finding this out can tell you a lot about him/her.



15. Do you owe back taxes?

Again you will inherit their debt.



16. How do you feel about debt?

They may be good with paying bills late and you may not be. So you need to determine what you are getting into. This also will help you determine who will be responsible for paying the bills. If He/She is better, then you may want to let them handle that.



17. Who is going to manage the money?

If you saw the bank statement and see that they are careless with spending money then this person may be you.



18. ARE YOU MARRIED?

I have been guilty of not asking this question and found myself in a relationship with someone else's husband. How far was that relationship really going to go? Even if they are separated you don't want to entertain that until that has been resolved. You'll save yourself a lot time and heart ache.



19. How are we going to maintenance the marriage?

Just because you get married doesn't mean you fix things. From time to time (like a luxury car) you have to maintenance your marriage. Be it a monthly get away or weekly date. You should figure out what works best for you both. Also you're going to want to have some check points in the marriage. This is where you as key questions like are you still happy or have you had any affairs.



20. Will we have a couple that mentors us when we're married?

Having a couple, that can stay neutral, to help you through troubled times is wise. My sure this couple is grounded in the word and strong in their faith. Otherwise you might not know what type of council you'll get.

Sexual Questions to ask before getting Married

21. What are your sexual expectations?

He/She may be a freak and you’re not...How is that going to work?

22. How do you feel about oral sex?

VERY Important! Some people do it some don't. Some love it some don't. You need to determine which side the two of you are on.

23. Have you ever been involved in pornography?

Need I say anything about that question...lol?

24. What type of childhood sexual experiences have you had?

There are a lot of secrets people are suppressing. You are going to want to know these things.

25. Have you or do you have and STDs?

HIV/AIDS along with Herpes cannot be cured. You need to know these things so that you can protect yourself.



There you have it...THE QUESTIONS. Tell me what you think?

Until Next Time Peace and Blessings...

Lil Mama get it in...Yuuup she goes hard

Hello hello hello hell lo!!!!

I know it has been a while since I blogged but so much has been going on. I have about 5 blogs in my mind, so in the near future you WILL NOT be disappointed. What I have up my sleeve next will get you all buzzing again, I promise.

After I wrote the blog I said I'd never write, Deceptacon Blues, so much has changed for me. I have been going HARD! I still write for the Baltimore Examiner amongst a few other things. I now have a better position career wise. I'm now blogging with a few other ladies on a blog called "Chic Complexity". I have even become a permanent host on the blog talk radio show "How Waz your Weekend" that can be heard each and every Wednesday at 9PM eastern by going to the website or calling in at (646) 727-3279. Our next show we'll have Motivational Speaker Stan Miller and the topic will be DIVORCE: I said I do, but I didn't mean it. I hope you all tune in. I'm even hosting another party this Friday at Eden's Lounge in Baltimore. I've been BUSY!

As I move towards my quest of living my best life I am learning so much about myself. My likes, dislikes, and what makes me smile. I'm sure you're thinking that's something I should already know and I did. Now that I am getting older I am changing and so are my likes. Honestly I have to change in order to be able to move forward and make the moves God has created me to make. It's called progression.

Well I didn't want to hold you here for too long because you know I can talk and write some stuff however I did want to leave you with this. No matter what, God is in control so let's act like it.

Until next time Peace and Prosperity...

If you're "Fancy" join me Friday at Penang for TANTRA Fridays!!!

Join me Friday as I host TANTRA Fridays!!!

Ladies is your hair done and nails done??? Are you in the bathroom getting ready with flat irons & nail files? Are you spending hours in salons for your hairsyles? If so, then you need to come out to TANTRA Fridays @ Penang this Friday July 2. ”All FANCY Ladies are free Before Midnight, and fellas are good until 11pm."

Early arrival and table service is suggested to ensure entry!

For table services contact e.oentertainment@gmail.com

Ladies FREE until 12 am, Fellas til 11pm.(text "Fancy" to "4432710922")

TABLE PACKAGES

"Mantra Package"
1 Bottles of Vodka or Cognac (Ciroc, Belvedere, Grey Goose, Hennessy)
1 Bottle of Cliquot
Complimentary Mixers
Complimentary admission of 5 guests
$350.00

"Supra Package"
1 Bottle of Moet Imperial Nectar or Nuvo
1 Vodka or Cognac (Ciroc, Belvedere, Grey Goose, Hennessy)
Complimentary Mixers
Complimentary admission of 5 guests
$350.00

"Champagne Diet"
2 Bottles of Moet Imperial Rose
1 FREE Bottle of Moet Imperial Rose
Complimentary Mixers
Complimentary admission of 5 guests
$450.00

"Tantra Package"
1 Moet Imperial Rose
1 Bottle of (Ciroc, Belvedere, Grey Goose, Hennessy)
1 Nuvo
Complimentary Mixers
Complimentary admission of 8 guests
$500.00

"2 for 1 Package"
2 Bottles of Liqour (Ciroc, Belvedere, Grey Goose, Hennessy)
1 FREE Bottle of Liqour (Ciroc, Belvedere, Grey Goose, Hennessy)
Complimentary Mixers
Complimentary admission of 10 guests
$675.00

"Guru Package"
2 Bottles of Moet Imperial Rose
1 Bottle of Liquor (Ciroc, Belvedere, Grey Goose, Hennessy)
1 Bottle of Nuvo
Complimentary Mixers
Complimentary admission of 12 guests
$750.00

Notes: *20% Gratuity Service Charge and Taxes Will Be Added to the
Final Bill

Holy, Hoops, Heels and a Husband

Last week I had the chance to be a call in guest on Andy Brown's Blog Talk Radio Show "How Waz Your Weekend" and I loved it. The show airs each and every Wednesday at 9PM eastern standard. Make sure you check it out on June 30th. I will be a panelist and the discussion will be about "People who Lie to Date." I know that was my attempt at a shameless plug.

Anyways the topic of the show was about interracial dating and some how flipped into dating period. One of the panelist said the problem with black women is "they don't know what they want" which is so not true because I do. I've been known. I might not have told the world but I do know. Which leads me to this blog.

This blog was really hard to write because again I had to dig deep within myself and be vulnerable with you. I tell you after that show all I kept thinking was do I really know what I want. I thought about it. I prayed about it. All of a sudden it hit me YES, YES I DO. I truly know what I want out of life and I'm happy about that. I'm also happy to say I can some it up in four words that I call The 4 H's of Nika. Which are Holy, Hoops, Heels, and a Husband. Ok I know this is not what you are expecting but it's the truth. Walk with me as I explain to you. Here we go...

HOLY

My favorite song of by Destiny Praise is "Holy is the Lord" and it goes..."Holy is the Lord God Almighty; Worthy to be Worshipped, Praised, and Adored. Holy is the King, the King of Glory. We will bow before you forever more. Holy is the Lord"

Ok just take a second and meditate on those words for me...Aaaahhh! I mean really do I need to say more? I am deeply in love with God. He is the head of my life and without him I am NOTHING. I choose to live like him and I strive to be Holy. Oh yes I o fall short but it doesn't stop me from giving God all I have for he is all I am.

HOOPS

Now this one can be used to symbolize two different wants. The first would be hoops the accessory and or fashion. I LOVE fashion and I can NOT live without it. My style identifies me and I have a special need to express myself using it. Each and every morning I get dressed I think about what message I am transcending with my clothes. I love my wardrobe...it's a part of me. I'm sure some of you are thinking this is superficial but it's not. To me fashion is an art and everyday you're viewing MY creations.

The other symbolization oh hoops is sports. I am an athlete and I love sports. All through grade school I played basketball. In my early years I was a center. As I got older I moved into the position of a power forward. I know shocking right??? Would you believe I also was a cheerleader, ran track, played softball, and football? C'mon I'm sure you all know how passionate I am about my Ravens...lol Anyways the reason I am such a sports fanatic is because I love comradery of playing with a team. I'm a people person and knowing that I have teammates around to assist me is a great feeling. I've always thought that's what being a Christian was about. Us working together as a team to defeat the Devil bringing the victory home to God. I mean that IS his promise to us right? Victory also know as eternal life. #TeamJesus


HEELS

Despite the way of the world today what's the one shoes that is made just for women...Heels and I love them. Why??? Well not only because they make me feel tall and model-like, but because they make me feel like a women. I absolutely love being a women. I love girly things like the color pink, ruffles, and dresses. I love it, I love it, I love it! I could never trade this in for anything. A women is the heart of God. She is sensitive, she is vulnerable, she is a nurturer, and her biggest desire is to be loved by those who know her. Now doesn't that sound like God? I know that over the years so many things have pulled women away from the roles that we are created to play. However I do know my role and every chance I get to live in it I DO. It's like basking in the sun with no cares in the world. I'm a women and garsh darn it, it feels so so so so good.


HUSBAND

This word really needs no explanation. Sure most women if not all at some point in time desired to have a husband. So being that I AM a women I want one too. Before this gets twisted I don't want just any man to call mine, but I do have a have a standard. In my mind I'm giggling thinking thank God my list isn't as long as Chilli's but I do have one. Well let me take that back, it isn't really a list it's a description. A very very very lengthy description that surprisingly doesn't has as much on it as hers. For example I don't have a kid or baby mama limit nor do I have any stipulations on looks or anything. It's more about the heart of the man.

The number one thing on my list is that he PUT GOD FIRST. The second is that not only does he know and understand my vision and I know his but that our visions align. I do not wanna be in a relationship with Jack who's vision is no where near mine and we spend our whole lives trying to get each other where the other is spiritually. That's not gonna work! That already sounds like chaos and I haven't even met Jack yet...lol I can go on and on about my future husband but I'll save that for another blog. All you need to know is I want one. Seriously!

So there it is summed up in four words Holy, Hoops, Heels, and a Husband. I can NOT believe I shared that.

Peace and blessings until next time!

Nika "The PR Diva"